Haitian Men Characteristics

Today I will be talking about the Characteristic of Haitian men. But before I do so let me tell you that I am not judging or generalizing the entire Haitian population or community. I am basing this off experience and what I've seen growing up or experienced my self. Pleased be advised that they are different category of men world wide, some may carry similar characteristic, some may not. So to answer your question 's on the different characteristic of Haitian men please read below and you'll be able to compare whether or not your Haitian men fall into that category.


The Just Comes.

The just comes are a group of Haitian immigrants that has travelled by sea or air some may refer to them as boats (meaning a person that was born in Haiti probably still have a thick haitian accent) So a Haitian guy that is a just come, immigrates to certain parts of the country mainly, Miami, New York, or Canada. When they just come they are ambitious looking for a new life and work here in America. Just comes can be different class of people. Some may have been well educated and have family that are well off financially others not so much. The Characteristic of a male just come he would be well dressed, button down shirt or polo, ironed pants with a leather belt and matching shoes. Hair cuts and trimmed facial hair is a must, looking like their ready to go to church. At this stage they are not so open to the American life style, and have different views of how children should be raised. When it comes to relationship the man works and the female is the home maker, they are very old fashioned and it's hard for them to accept change.

The Diaspora 

The Diaspora are a group of Haitians that have immigrated to the U.S. and are now picking up on the American ways. This is mainly the younger guys between the ages of 15-30. They are open to learning new things. I remember at one point they would wear Italian clothes in cologne this was very popular among the haitian community. The characteristic of  Diaspora men then would be the pointy Italian shoes, fitted jeans or pants, Button down shirts, Belts like (MOSCHINO). Now in 2013 the new characteristic of Diaspora men would be True Religion Jeans, Armani Exchange, Diesel, Prada, Gucci, and LV. May I add a few of them get them counter fit and some authentic, expensive jewelry too but they carry themselves really clean. When it comes to relationship they love women so much one is never enough. Oh and their good at lying too so they can appear to be more than what they really are. But in reality some are broke and probably live with family. The ones that are more  fortunate make their presence known especially at the clubs. Ordering drinks in V.I.P. and attend most of the big Haitian concerts and bal (club).

The Soccer Player

The Haitian soccer player,  if you did not know that 90% of Haitian men love soccer. This is basically their national sport. Some of them live in breath soccer, but be careful if you are scouting them on the soccer field. They have a very tight bond with their soccer buddies, being that they are athletes they always have women around them. Love to attend house parties and cook outs. Depending on how social your guy is he's friend will come by and chill at your house crack jokes and talk about women. They'll encourage each other to cheat. At this point it's up to your guy to use his best judgement.  Characteristic of  a haitian male soccer player. He spends more time with his soccer buddies the he does at home. May have a main chic and a side chic. Expects for food to be ready when he comes home. Sex is great until he has a big match to attend because he does not want to bring down his stamina. If he's not working or unemployed run for your life their looking for women to take care of them.

The Haitian men and Bazz (Hangout)

When you first meet the Haitian Hustler you may not know it right from the bat, he may drive a decent car. Wear decent close like most diaspora's would do. Even bring you to dinner. Just to find out later that he hangs out with his friend at their Bazz (Hangout spot) all day. He does not work, or has no interest in working unless it's hustling money. Plays Haitian  bollet (Lotto) go to clubs on the weekends and dress really nice. Characteristics of men that hang out at the Bazz , sometimes he'll have his wife or girlfriend drop him off and hang with other just like him all day and debate on non sense. When it comes to relationship the women usually catch them in the act and there is always fights or altercations. It's a place of gossip and drama most Haitian barber shops are included in the Bazz category. It's a small community and everyone always know somebody so good luck trying to live a private life. Oh and don't forget lots of gambling , dominoes and card playing goes on in these bazz.

Older Haitian Men

The older Haitian men are very old fashioned of course but they love young women as young as their 20's The older guys mid 40's upper 60's are a bit more serious when it comes to Characteristic. They love to listen to old haitian music like Tabou Combo, Tropicana,  and Troubadou. They love sophisticated things like eating quail, fried pork (Grio), or Fried Turkey with Fried Plantain salads , brown rice and don't forget the liquor. They love good hospitality so you have to know how to cater to him and his friends.  They'll reminisce about all the good stuff they had in the past. The older guys used to take  care of home although they cheated, some are very jealous or even possessive, but they would put their women and children in a homes.

Conclusion to Characteristics of Haitian Men 

As you can see reading my blog the Characteristic of a Haitian man was broken down into different categories. But for the most part they are very jealous, love attention and women, as a female dealing with a Haitian guy they lie allot. Some are possessive more possessive than others. They usually leave the woman to take care of home. When it comes to Hygiene haitian men love to wear cologne, and dress nice. When it comes to family again it all depends on the up bringing. It's hard to get family time unless it's a party. If he's americanized enough you might get lucky if he's willing to embrace his family. Haitian men are very social but keep in mind at least 90%  of Haitian men are players or was once in the past. Good Luck!

Going to a Haitian Club or Bal!

Going to a Haitian Club or Bal!

So this is a topic that most Haitian women can relate to, when we go to a Haitian club it's almost like being in a pacman video game. You just want to go out with the girls to enjoy the night and listen to some good kompa or zouk. Or just want to see your favorite band perform. After paying for our ticket at the door we make our first stop at the bar to buy our favorite drinks, then make our way to the floor to find a nice spot to hang out for the rest of the night. After the first hour the crowd is starting to grow, the loud music vibrating my ear drums and we're dancing and having fun with our group of friends then you suddenly feel someone pull your hands to lead you to the dance floor. You pull away nicely and say no thanks, this is just the beginning, because most people who know Haitian men know well that they'll ignore your attempt to reject them ,They'll talk loud enough for you to hear over the loud music, directly in your ears leaving not even an inches of space. God forbid you have one with bad breath, girls I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about. The ones that talk so close to your face even when you hold your breath the moment you come back for air his breath sack still lingers in the air even after he closes his mouth. Now you proceed to walk away and all of a sudden you have a club stalker. Shaking him off is not as easy as you think, at this point my tolerance level is low. And now this guy is messing with my flow, how am I supposed to dance with the cute guy across the room when I have a monkey on my back? The last thing I remembered is that I purchased my own way into the club but the way this guy is following me we look like a fighting couple. Going to any club should not be frustrating, people just have to know how to back off it's sad that sometimes to get a person like that off your back is to insult them. I'm a very classy person, never loud when I go out, and I do my best never to step out of character but by doing so at times, your message may not be delivered the way you want. When it starts to bother me too much I just tell the guy to get the "F" out of my face. By that time he gets the point and walks off possibly to spare him self from embarrassment. But it's sad for anyone to make you feel like an absolute jerk before backing off, this would have been avoided on the first "NO".  My advice to men attending these kompa night clubs, learn to be more polite and ask before touching or grabbing a female hand, if it's ok if you could have this dance with her. If she says yes then you can put your hands out and lead her to the dance floor. If she says no learn to smile and say "no problem" and move on to the next. It would make it a more fun and peaceful environment for the both of you. 

Child Support

                                                                               

  I am blogging about real life events and what really goes on in my world, and the Haitian community. I am not here to bash anyone or put our Haitian race down. But will be truthful and honest about what goes on and the most common reactions to certain issues facing many of us today. First I would like to start off with my topic of the day which is Child Support. When in the Haitian community a women decides to put the father of her child on child support, they literally act as if it's the end of the world.

  Sometimes this even turns into a spiritual warfare where the party being pursued with the child support turns to voodoo but of course I'm not going to get to that. I've seen a past friend of mines that was going through allot of issues with the father of her child. She had dealt with him for over 8 years before she became pregnant, through out her pregnancy she had to take the city bus back and fourth from work. There was a vehicle available at the time that belonged to another family member of his but he made no effort at all to help her. He felt that if he catch the bus it makes him sick and always found a way to his destination.  She had to deal with him and his family member while living in the house, and tensions started to run high. After the baby was born things calmed down for a few months, they both worked. He was making more of an income than she was but he seemed to always have an excuse as to why he could not help. He became financially handicap when she needed him the most, sometimes she tried borrow and pay him back. Other problems included him cheating and spitting in her face during their last argument. 

  She eventually moved to her own place, never had any intentions of putting him on child support  but he started to become very cocky, verbally abusive, and felt that he had the upper hand, after a heated argument. He decided to throw out all of his baby belonging that where at his house, he drove and dropped them off in front of her door steps. Things from food that where stored in his refrigerator ,clothing, car seat and even a wooden bed. He did not want to have anything to do with her so he felt that having thrown all his kids things out in front of her door steps would resolve his problems. My friend was terribly hurt by the situation and proceeded with the child support.

  She did not give him the Child Support out of anger, she gave him the Child Support for not being able to support his kid when she needs him the most because he is too busy catering to other people. Like his family from Haiti, his mother who is receiving social security benefits, and his brother that is not working and occupying extra space in his apartment. He seemed to have missed his priority by a long shot which is his first and only Child. He had no concerns whether the child had new clothes or shoes, and also day care expenses. All of this was being taken cared of by one person which was the child mother.

  When he finally found out that he was being served Child Support all of a sudden he wanted to get his act together. Now all of a sudden he started writing out checks bi-weekly and ventured on a straight path and tried to convince my friend to take him off Child Support. She never asked him for much she just wanted to make sure that her son was taking care of between the both of them working. But she was more upset that she had to take this action to even get him to man up.

  The day after the big court date he begged and pleaded for her to take him off but she refused, he spent a week saying that he feels like he wants to kill him self and so on, but he's still alive. The once cocky guy turned into  wimp crying for someone to save him. Now he wants to sign over his parental rights....which my friend also refused. 

My personal opinion on all of this is that we all have to take responsibility for or own actions. If you are in a relationship with anyone and you decide not to put a cap on sh*t happens. Just learn to own up to it because this probably wont be your first and last mistake. 

Recently posted on my FB status:

" Men if you slept with a female, got her pregnant, and realized that's the worst mistake you ever made in your life learn to "WRAP IT UP" stop being selfish and deal with the fact that the seed you bust in her grew and became a living being. That walks, talks, and looks like you (unfortunately) the only difference is the fact that it's worth more than you. So pay up there's an app for that it's called "Child Support"! #Lanmerd

Signs that your Boo may be cheating on you.

     I am only writing from my personal experience if anyone find this post offending in anyway, "I do not apologize" (smile) lol. Now let's get started in my past relationship with my Haitian ex. I've experienced a list of things that made me suspect that he maybe cheating. I came from being a wife to being a full time private investigator. People may say, why stay in a relationship if you don't trust your partner? Or maybe I'm just being an insecure wife. 

   Being that I was so in love with him, I did not want to hear anything that anyone had to say. Because I am not a fan of rumor's especially in my personal relationship, if a rumor could not be proven there was no reason for me to believe in it. I tried to keep my relationship private as I felt at times us women do have an influence on each other. At the time I felt that every new relationship has a new beginning so cheating is not something you want to think about.  But while in the relationship I started to see him do weird things, at first I did not pay attention to it much but I started questioning my self as to why he behaved a certain way.

Signs That He May Be Up To Know Good

1)  Have you ever noticed that he steps outside or to another room when he receives an incoming call  (There would be times where he receives phone calls, walks off  enters another room or walks outside. But other times if it's his boys he does not mind having a full conversation in front of me.)

2)  Have you ever touched his phone for any reason and he comes flying to the other side of his room before you know it he takes the phone from you? (That definitely means he has something to hide, trust me if you find your self not being able to touch his phone, sleeps with the phone under his pillows, has a lock on it, red Flags all over.)

3)  If you ever had access to his phone do you realize that some or all of his calls or text messages are deleted? (I found it to be weird that a person who talks on the phone all day and text back and fourth all day have an empty inbox or outbox, red flag)

4)  If your in a long distance relationship do you notice when he travels you guys talk less? ( My ex would travel for days and sometimes 3 months at a time because he played professional soccer. There would be times that I call him and I feel that I was being rushed off the phone, what kills me the most is the fact that his phone went off at a certain time each night and I was able to talk to him like 5 minutes at a time after practice. As soon as he gets home it's difficult to reach him.

5)   Has he ever talked to you in the 3rd person? For Example: I had a guy friend of mines that was with this girl and got her pregnant while her man was away. Or maybe he cracks jokes about what his other male friends do. ( My ex absolutely told me a few of those stories and found out that it was actually him, this guy tried to played me for the total fool.)

6)  If he for any reason ever sleeps out on more that one occasion, that's a super red flag and a big No No. There should be absolutely know reason at all for you to tolerate that ( I've experienced this first hand, the first time I let it slide. But the second time I had his bags packed and ready to toss him out because there is no way in hell that I will except for any guy to use my  house as a free storage facility. My words to him where to store his clothes where ever the hell he rest his head before showing up to my house at 12noon) (That day he cursed me out but I had the last laugh because all of his friends where laughing at him as I threw his clothes in the middle of the parking lot where he hangs out. The reason I did this is because at the end of the day his friends all know who he's screwing around with, and makes us females look like nothing. I take it as a compliment when they call me the crazy lady sometimes there's no reconciling a situation like this. I find it to be the up most disrespectful thing a spouse living with you could ever do.)

7)  Has he ever gotten angrier at you when you confront him with something you have solid evidence on? I've never seen a guy more pissed off than when he get's caught in his string of lies ( When I confronted my ex-husband  about the other women he went off the wall. He told me I was crazy, he always denied it. Things got heated very quickly which led to a physical fight between us, This actually happened on three different occasions.)

8)  Have you guys ever had conversations about his infidelity, and noticed when you talk about it he does not really keep eye contact? ( One thing I learned is that it was hard for him to keep eye contact when being asked about his weird ways, of course he'll deny till he dies. You will never get the truth but you can tell my the body language. Like if the television is on he'll answer your questions but never really look you in the eye, and would use any distraction possible. For Example: His eyes focused on the television. He plays with the button on his phone while he looks down at the screen, maybe sometimes he looks up but barely make eye contact when your interrogating him.)

   So women keep your eye's open this blog was made based on my personal experience, you may have experienced things differently or maybe the same.  Please feel free to reply to this post, and share your story.

     

       

Truth About Haitian Men and Relationships

                                  

     Hello my name is Ruth and I felt that it is necessary for me to write about my personal experience with being in a relationship with Haitian men...I'm not here to bash anyone or put my culture down as I am Haitian American born here in the United States. Both of my parents are from Haiti of course, but one of the issues I'm here to talk about are Haitian relationships.

     I would like to start off by saying that being in a relationship in general is very complex but what happens when your dating your own race, and they all have the same traits when it comes to relationships, not to say that there isn't any good men out there but they all have  something in common. I am going to list a group of things that most Haitian men do that most Haitian women can't stand.

1)    Haitian men are very jealous beings, you want to know where I'm at, what I'm doing, whom I'm talking to, and definitely don't like when their women speak to other men in general. (That's a big no no and a turn off to us women)

2)    Haitian men look forward to having his partner cook, clean, do laundry, take care of the kids, between him and the kids it's 24 hour clock work (maid service), when your done catering to him he spends the rest of the day out with his friends at the BAZZ (in English it means  Hang Out or Base) whether their working or not. They sit around and talk about their past and present relationships or how many women they've slept with. ( I'm not sure if it has  anything to do with competition )

3)    Haitian men are very cocky and dominant when it comes to flirting, they really don't know when to call it quits, which becomes very annoying (correct me if I'm wrong). His first approach to women would be more like "Hey baby let me talk to you for a minute, I wanted to tell you that your very beautiful ". "We can be friends, put my number on your phone "(with thick Haitian accent ). They'll follow you for about 20-30 minutes until you tell them to back the F#@%! up. Sometimes I find my self saying "Not Interested" over 2 or 3 times. At this point I become very irritated and walk on and go about another route because they do have a tendency to follow you.

4)    They are pathological liers, they lie just to lie. By the time you've been in a relationship with him for about 6 month to a year you'll start to notice change in the relationship. The most common case is because he already had another relationship going on before you came into the picture. Or possibly started another relationship or should I say "relationships". I find it very common the Haitian men has a main relationship at home which of course is the wife/servant  and his side lady which is probably the one all of his friends besides you know about. Oh and yes he'll even try to get with your best friend so bringing  other women around him wont help with your situation.

5)    He tends to become very aggressive and argues, makes a big deal out of the smallest things and then takes off, first thing you see is the back of his head because he's walking out the door and leaves you home for hours at a time. I find this to be common in most relationship when there is another person involved.

6)     When he comes back he's usually calmed and more relaxed because he accomplished what he had to in the hours he was missing in action. After engaging in his personal outings no need to open a new case because at this time he'll be heading straight to bed.

7)  He will spend more time with his friends, the only time he spends with you is when your being intimate or possibly watching soccer. But family outing is out of the question. Before you can get a Haitian guy to finally commit to having some family time. You would have to go through hell and back,  it would be a miracle.

8) Although you feel like he is being unfair in the relationship when you feel that you can't take it anymore, he always has his friends as cheerleaders to back him up and try and convince you of staying. You'll get the phone calls or face to face counseling with people that are in his circle and doing the same S*%# that he is doing. (Like seriously that's really uncalled for)

9) Financially if he has the money he probably will help around with some of the household expenses but of course his up bringing and education level is an important factor. On the other hand you have the young cocky guy who probably spends more money on him self to keep up with the ladies for show off.

10) They have no remorse and understanding of how the decision they make in life effects you. When your angry at them because your starting to discover the fact of who they really are. They get even angrier at you for finding out. They'll tell you that your crazy and that it's all in your head.

    I personally feel that things could be better if we start educating our sons to respect women rather than just using them as an object with no feelings. Because it would help men learn to appreciate the Haitian women in their life. In my case I threw in the towel because I got tired, and also traumatized by my past relationship. I'm personally done and have no desire to go back to the same displeasing relationship.


Please feel free to leave a comment or opinions for others to read. Visit my other blog Characteristic of Hatian Men. http://haitianmen.blogspot.com/2013/08/haitian-men-characteristics.html