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Saturday, April 28, 2012

Truth About Haitian Men and Relationships

                                   




        Hello my name is Ruth and I felt that it is necessary for me to write about my personal experience with being in a relationship with Haitian men...I'm not here to bash anyone or put my culture down as I am Haitian American born here in the United States. Both of my parents are from Haiti of course, but one of the issues I'm here to talk about are Haitian relationships.

     I would like to start off by saying that being in a relationship in general is very complex but what happens when your dating your own race, and they all have the same traits when it comes to relationships, not to say that there isn't any good men out there but they all have  something in common. I am going to list a group of things that most Haitian men do that most Haitian women can't stand.

1)    Haitian men are very jealous beings, you want to know where I'm at, what I'm doing, whom I'm talking to, and definitely don't like when their women speak to other men in general. (That's a big no no and a turn off to us women)

2)    Haitian men look forward to having his partner cook, clean, do laundry, take care of the kids, between him and the kids it's 24 hour clock work (maid service), when your done catering to him he spends the rest of the day out with his friends at the BAZZ (in English it means  Hang Out or Base) whether their working or not. They sit around and talk about their past and present relationships or how many women they've slept with. ( I'm not sure if it has  anything to do with competition )

3)    Haitian men are very cocky and dominant when it comes to flirting, they really don't know when to call it quits, which becomes very annoying (correct me if I'm wrong). His first approach to women would be more like "Hey baby let me talk to you for a minute, I wanted to tell you that your very beautiful ". "We can be friends, put my number on your phone "(with thick Haitian accent ). They'll follow you for about 20-30 minutes until you tell them to back the F#@%! up. Sometimes I find my self saying "Not Interested" over 2 or 3 times. At this point I become very irritated and walk on and go about another route because they do have a tendency to follow you.

4)    They are pathological liers, they lie just to lie. By the time you've been in a relationship with him for about 6 month to a year you'll start to notice change in the relationship. The most common case is because he already had another relationship going on before you came into the picture. Or possibly started another relationship or should I say "relationships". I find it very common the Haitian men has a main relationship at home which of course is the wife/servant  and his side lady which is probably the one all of his friends besides you know about. Oh and yes he'll even try to get with your best friend so bringing  other women around him wont help with your situation.

5)    He tends to become very aggressive and argues, makes a big deal out of the smallest things and then takes off, first thing you see is the back of his head because he's walking out the door and leaves you home for hours at a time. I find this to be common in most relationship when there is another person involved.

6)     When he comes back he's usually calmed and more relaxed because he accomplished what he had to in the hours he was missing in action. After engaging in his personal outings no need to open a new case because at this time he'll be heading straight to bed.

7)  He will spend more time with his friends, the only time he spends with you is when your being intimate or possibly watching soccer. But family outing is out of the question. Before you can get a Haitian guy to finally commit to having some family time. You would have to go through hell and back,  it would be a miracle.

8) Although you feel like he is being unfair in the relationship when you feel that you can't take it anymore, he always has his friends as cheerleaders to back him up and try and convince you of staying. You'll get the phone calls or face to face counseling with people that are in his circle and doing the same S*%# that he is doing. (Like seriously that's really uncalled for)

9) Financially if he has the money he probably will help around with some of the household expenses but of course his up bringing and education level is an important factor. On the other hand you have the young cocky guy who probably spends more money on him self to keep up with the ladies for show off.

10) They have no remorse and understanding of how the decision they make in life effects you. When your angry at them because your starting to discover the fact of who they really are. They get even angrier at you for finding out. They'll tell you that your crazy and that it's all in your head.

    I personally feel that things could be better if we start educating our sons to respect women rather than just using them as an object with no feelings. Because it would help men learn to appreciate the Haitian women in their life. In my case I threw in the towel because I got tired, and also traumatized by my past relationship. I'm personally done and have no desire to go back to the same displeasing relationship.


Please feel free to leave a comment or opinions for others to read. Visit my other blog Charactoristic of Hatian Men. http://haitianmen.blogspot.com/2013/08/haitian-men-characteristics.html






113 comments:

  1. Thanks for the read. I'm in a relationship with a Haitian man and I'm American. You hit everything on the NOSE. This is my boyfriend. Everything you said is him. Thanks

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    1. Thanks Nikki4911 for reading my Blog...Your welcome to share your experience and your thought's, as you know as women we go through allot. This blog was posted according to my personal experience with my Haitian ex of whom I was in a relationship with for 5 years. I will be posting more of my personal experience in hopes to help someone one catch the problems before it starts. Hope everything works well in your relationship.

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    2. I am of haitian decent, born and raised in Miami. My family is quite different in nature as far as the way i have been brought up. (no stereotypes such as funky house smell, with boxes everywhere) I don't feel i have ever been any of those things.
      1. I am not jealous, but i am jealous enough to make my girl feel that she knows i don't want to lose her. but i will never get overbearing to the point where she can not have male friends but if she does carry a past(sexual or dating) with the male friend, i always feel out of respect she shouldn't speak with the "friend". i will not demand it but will normally make it obvious that i am bothered by it.
      2. being raised by a single haitian mother who came here at the age of 16, i will say that i was not brought up that way. while yes, i will worship a girls feet who cooks a nice hot meal for me. I don't like a woman who carries the mentality that only she should do those things. I actually do my own laundry and chores.
      3. cocky is quite the opposite of me. I am normally very respectful when approaching a woman and will pay attention to body language, if I feel the body language is a form of rejection, i stop pursuit. and I definitely don't approach a woman with an nstant compliment and expect she owes me her number. most of my ways of picking up a woman is paying attention to how she may be and starting conversation on that. for example, she looks tired and is wearing unifrom, i will usually say something like "long day at work?" with a smile.
      4. I believe in karma, so i believe doing dirt will get you dirt and am very paranoid. in most cases i will not lie because i carry the mindset it will come back to me and hurt me.
      5. aggressive? no. i will never be physical or in most cases will try every way to stop a conflict from escalating. i usually speak in a very calm tone and make sure to get my point across as to why I am mad. I will only avoid argument when the girl is becoming belligerent in public.
      6. when i come back, you will expect that I will want to reassure that the matter is resolved or work a way to resolve it.
      7. HA. quite the opposite, my family always welcomes the woman that I am dating. And i am a man who prefers sharing time with my woman before my friends. i would rather go catch a new movie premiere before going out to a club or bar with friends who want to go party. and most cases will bring my girl with me, if it is an event that warrants a valid reason for me to go party (best friend birthday, going away party, etc)
      8. I HATE, and despise, having my problems out there for the world to judge. I will never allow any of my friends to cheer anything because my opinion is, my friends can't be doing any better then us. why would i ask a friend who's had 2 divorces, a child, and jumping between relatonships for advice or to call my girl? our problems are our problems.
      9. I believe in security and the finier things in life but i appreciate them and understand when others can't have what i have.
      10. I am who I am. I am not the perfect person. I'm going to do dumb things(not cheating). i'm going to spend my money foolishly, i will get angry at things i misunderstand, but I will always try and learn from my mistakes and make sure that she sees I have. I will not make her feel she is wrong.

      I took the time to write this to explain that no race is perfect and while there are men/women who carry horrible traits that fall into certain races or categories, not all are the same.

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    3. Nice rebuttal. Tastefully got your point across :)

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    4. I like the way you explained your point of view. I'm an American woman dating a Hiatian man. He a exactly the way you explained you are. He respects me, he won't argue with me an stresses that he doesn't want to argue. But he gets his point across. He's never been aggressive or even mad enough to bother me.
      He listen to me, I can tell because if I say I don't like something he changes it. He doesn't expect me to do his chores even when I try he won't let me. He will let me cook, but not do his cleaning at all. I know it may seem like I'm putting him on a pedestal, but I believe he's a good man with good up bring. He respects me an shows me he cares in his actions. I don't believe all Hiatian men are the way the author describes.

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    5. Hello Steve,

      Thanks for replying to my blog, I understand your point of view and must say that you are very well spoken, and well educated judging from what I've read from your response so far. But in your first Paragraph you said that you were born here in Miami, and your parents are of Haitian descent. Your mother moved here at age 16. You are pretty much americanized, I was born in the states as well but got a chance to also experience life in Haiti. I am speaking from experience and what I live. Oprah Winfrey once had a show on cheating spouses are you aware that 95% of men cheat based on a survey taken by men? Does that stop me from dating? Absolutely not. You being born here makes a big difference your mother being young allowed her to adjust to the American lifestyle. I am talking about older Haitians and young Haitian guys coming from Haiti. I was an excellent Haitian American wife to my Haitian ex husband. I challenge you to ask at least 3-5 older Haitian women about their experience with Haitian men the good and bad. I'm talking about Non American as your self, that disqualified you lol. I promise atleast 4 out of 5 can relate to my post.

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    6. I was born in Haiti moved here when I was 12 now I'm 28, everything you mention are definitely true about Haitian men, but there are a few exceptional one like my father for example been married to my mother for 32 years, never once had issues because they both understand each other. My dad is a straight forward gentlemen he doesn't lie, cheat or steal never meet anyone like my dad words can't describe this man really he's my role model I want to be just like him in this new age it's hard. As for my mother we hear the story over and over how my dad was her first and last. My parents are religious people not the fake hypocrite that be talking nonsense. I love my family and I want to do the same.. Now back to the topic it's not just Haitian men all man are the same we just do things differently. This is my story I'm not perfect I cheated before I was in a six years relationship with my ex fiancé we have one handsome boy together, I move out the house recently couldn't take it she love me so much and yet I'm just a no good son of a gun, if I tell her the truth she will never see me as the perfect guy she fall in love with she will never trust me ever again and that guilty conscience hunts me till today. I can't married her with all them Skelton in my closet, The last thing I want to do is hurt her break her heart. I had other reason too. growing up, my parent weren't very strict but they had rules, never once I disobey my parent wishes, i respect them always listen to what they have to say, with that said I felt shelter in, never been in a fight, no tat, no ear ring I'm simple no jewelry no pretending either that goes for all my brothers and sister 2 brothers 2 sisters same mom same dad I dated a few women back then but never brought them to meet my parent, did make a few foolish mistakes that led me to bring one to meet my parent, so nervous that day believe it or. Lt I was 22 could remember it like it was yesterday, she disappoints me big time, my ex fiancé was my rebound chick right after never took a break to enjoy my youth I think that's one of the reason I was cheating plus I was told by multiple women that I'm a sex-addict. Now I'm single I'm living the life, doing the things I never got a chance to do, I know it's selfish on my part but there are no other way. I want to do me for now even though she's not happy about it. I still take care of everything financially..
      Them Haitian some are jealous to the core but it's not their fault the women put them in that position to be crazy jealous, trust, honest, respect, discipline, caring, helpful, acknowledge, be there for each other... Maybe that help I'm not the expert we all have problems...

      So much I like say... There's more to my story.. Too lazy to write plus grammar is not there apologize.. Hope you all understand... My first time blogging

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    7. Very well put amos, I just wonder if its a Haitian thing or just a nan being dominate

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    8. Lol why blame a Nationality for your pour life decision. There are plenty of other men for you to date that are to more of your liking, same add there are many other women who'd be a better fit for him. I think you're dumb to be with someone you weren't happy with, but that's my opinion. In a Haitian male and I don't expect all women to cook and clean, but I expect mine too. Everyone's different, go find what best suits you.

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    9. Lol why blame a Nationality for your pour life decision. There are plenty of other men for you to date that are to more of your liking, same add there are many other women who'd be a better fit for him. I think you're dumb to be with someone you weren't happy with, but that's my opinion. In a Haitian male and I don't expect all women to cook and clean, but I expect mine too. Everyone's different, go find what best suits you.

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    10. Thanks for the info Ruthspy2000, I am an American black woman, about 6 months ago, i met and started dating a Haitian man, I don't know anything about his culture nor does he share much unless i ask, he is a citizen of the US but was born in Haiti, he said he has been in the US for 20 years but he still has a strong Haitian ascent.He's 40, i'm 50, because of the age difference i was reluctant to date him but he has assured him that this doesn't bother him, I still wonder if it can work. Anyway, since i am so much older, I look for signs in this new relationship that will tell me whether or not he is for real or is he just looking for what we call a "sugar mama". I am really falling for this guy cause so far he hasn't given me any reason not to trust what he says, he says he will never lie to me nor cheat on me and hurt me like his ex-wife did to him while he was away in the military. I made a comment to him that all military men lie and cheat and he became upset that i would say something like that and asked me to never say it again, he also asked me not to bring up the age difference again. He said when his wife left him she also took all of the money out of the account so he has little money now, only what he works for now, he lives pay check to pay check, but he promises things will get better, he works in law enforcement and he's still in the army reserves. He hasn't argued with me over anything nor has he ever disrespected me, because of the age difference, i told him not to tell his mom about us yet, but he did it anyway, according to him she's ok with it, i think she just wants what he wants and will go along with what ever he says, so i don't know the real reason I'm replying to your blog, guess I'm still curious about the man i'm with. I also met a man from Trinidad at the same time i met my haitian guy, who also expressed an interest in me but appeared to be too aggressive for me, so I elected to go with the Haitian guy, whom i call my Island King he calls me his american queen, cute right? but you did touch on some things that made my antenna go up, so to speak. he does make a big deal out of nothing and if we are texting, if i text some thing he doesn't like he will stop texting until the next day when he tell me i pissed him off. he say he loves me but will go an entire day without getting in touch with me, when i talk to him about it, he says its no big deal and i shouldn't get bent out of shape over nothing, he says he's the most honest guy i will ever meet, he is cocky and admits it, he said he flirts with other women but in his heart he knows he will never cheat on me. My relationship with him is still new so i don't know how it will play out, guess i have to wait and see. But thanks, you gave me things to watch out for.

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    11. Iam and have been in a relationship for almost two years in October, myself being a American and A southern woman, can relate heavily with alot of things in this blog. I thought that I was crazy for a while, until my Dominican hairstylist told me not to fall in love, and unfortunately it was too late. His behavior is sporadic, things could be Great, and then he gets in his mood( which I figure is the time that he's out doing his thing) seeing another woman. We've been to several functions, family outings with his family and mine, I may post pictures of he and I, but he never tags me out posts any pictures of us on his page, obviously he doesn't want other women to know that he's in a relationship, his status is still single. But NEVERTHELESS, BEING A SOUTHERN GIRL... I have recently started to withdraw from him and whenever I DO THAT.... he wants to all of a sudden straighten up and fly right. When I'm expressing myself to him, he's standoffish.... Aloof. I'm No Fool, and I let him know that I will not be around for the BS. THERE is so much more that I could speak on but this definitely answers my questions. This is the #Truth.

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  2. This is so true everything you said,,, couldn't have said it beter even if written in blood.... I really thought it was me an I needed to change but I truly see its not an I tried an gave all I could give an more.... sad to tear my family apart with him but I need my sanity an respect for me an my daughters don't want them thinking life is suppose to be this way.. THANK YOU so much for sharing its been along 7 yrs but I need peace in my life......

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    1. Hello Mommy T,

      It's good to hear that you have peace in your life, I've spoken for many that have been through these stressful relationship. I new I was not the only one, when I shared my story about being in a relationship with Haitian men, I've known other women that have either been through it or have known someone that is going through it. It's based on facts starting from my personal experience. But it's good to know that your doing allot better with the grace of God.

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  3. I just got out of a 4 year emotional abusive relationship with a Haitian man.. he was EXACTLY everything you listed above! He had me thinking I was crazy. I really started thinking I was the problem. His family even supportrd his ways, telling me he would never change. it was crazy! It's a huge healing process, but I'm glad it's over!!!

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    1. Hello KM,

      I know exactly what your talking about, most of the time their family member know what's going on. Always remember when going into any relationship you are a stranger to that family. They'll probably let you figure things out your self, his family will always be on his side. For instance I have a close male family member of mines that has his bad ways, but it's hard trying to get in between his affairs and his women. I could only look from the side lines and shake my head to this and I usually address him one on one because I know I would not like to be treated that way. It's a very evil world out there, but good to know out of all of this you are going through a healing process. You will definitely find something better!

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  4. Wow I know what you mean I've had a similar experience with dating 2 Haitian men. I've dated other island men as well, but now I'm married to my soulmate. My husband is Haitian and he is the best...he brings his money home, fits grocery shopping with me if I ask him to, and even helps me clean up around the house. He's the best man I've ever known, but that could be any man who has God in their life right :-) I feel so blessed. I have to be honest I've found Jamaican men to be the ones who hurt me most, but that's just my experience.

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    1. Hello Black Bonanza,

      You are one lucky girl, if you do happen to find one that is willing to give you a helping hand as far as money and help around the house he's a keeper. Sounds like he really loves you, it's good to hear.I will be sure to check out your blog. Thanks for posting.

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  5. PS-I just started my own blog last week please check it out. I think your big is really interesting.
    TheBlackBonanza.Blogspot.com

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  6. No prob! Keep the blogs coming I love to read topics of this nature and don't forget to come check me out too, especially the latest one about Black women being ugly according to a research study done last year. Its shocking smh

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  7. I met a haitian man online 2 months ago We started skyping and talking on the phone. He is very funny easy going and understanding . After a month we decided to meet up so we did .. He is so Romtic . He is everything a women would want thats my point of view thats how he acts at this point . The only problem which is a big problem is that he still be on the online single dating website . I dont really trust him much because I had a bad ex experince . He lives an hour and thirty mins away. We see each other once a week ... But he said I'm the one ... He also told me that he was seeing other women ... Which I dont understand just because he keeps saying I'm the one. I dont want to push him away .But I don't want to be a fool. What should I do?

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    1. @Maxima- Well one positive thing I can take from your situation is that he already told you he's seeing other women. Most men wouldn't be honest about that; however if "you're the one" for him he wouldn't still be seeing other women, so his actions are saying that he's telling you something he doesn't truly believe himself. Also remember to know your worth as a woman, you don't want to be with someone who is special to you and you're faithful to him meanwhile you're just an option for him among his other women. You don't want to be his #1, you want to be his ONLY 1. I'm an outsider, but from what you're saying I believe God has a better man for you who will not only tell you you're the one, but he'll show you that you are by committing himself to you and going out of his way to see you as often as possible so that you'll know you're loved. I've had 2 similar experiences before I met my husband so I know this guy you're talking about is full of bs.

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    2. If you are the one,why is he still on the dating website and seeing other women? Simple, he is still looking for the one, a player or he is emotionally not available. Your the fall back girl. When he has nothing else to do or no one else to go out with he contacts you. Move on as you are wasting your time. Let me Empower you. You have what men want and need. Do not sell yourself short. Read the book," The Power Of The Pussy", it is on Amazon. Best wishes to you and finding the man who will love, respect and commit to you. You are worth it!

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  8. WOW!!!!!! I am white and just experience my first "relationship" w a Haitian guy. He got very offended when I called him my boo after 6 months. Told me I look like a clown w makeup on. Called my fat (which in far from) cause he's a gym rat! Told me a dress I wore was awful and my hair was stupid. And even called MY son a wuss cause he plays in the band!!!!!! I don't know how I loved this guy so much and was willing to change for him. As much as I miss him I knew I deserved so much better......it's crazy how dead on you are about this but WHY! Why are they like that????

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    1. Hello Kelly,

      I'm sorry to hear about your ordeal, I must tell you, your ex sounds like a total jerk. You should have nothing to miss about him. A man that would call your son a wuss is over the top mind boggling. I feel that you should be treated better than that. I've been to Haiti many times in the past and I must say, the lifestyle that they have over there is what they tend to bring here. My ex started to verbally abuse me too, making me feel less than what I am. But it's just to break your spirit, maybe this is his way of feeling that he has power over you. But you can do allot better than that. I would not be surprised if he physically abused you. The verbal abuse from a Haitian guy would most likely come with the physical abuse. The only thing that would stop him from touching you is the fact that he may acknowledge the law. Haitian men are controlling and very jealous hun keep that in mind. I don't understand my self why they act like that but I blame it on lack of education and good family upbringing.

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  9. I really need to speak to somebody about ny situation im an american girl dating a haitian guy,the sighns are all there that was stated above please somebody with haitian dating experience email me @ goonette.moban10@gmail.com

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  10. Im an American woman and Ive been dealing with my hatian friend for 3 years over the phone. We live 200 miles from each other, he's constantly saying he doesn't want a relationship but he's on my phone communicating everyday all day. He loves to tell me what and how I should respond to him when I don't agree with him and he has a very bad temper..I AM SO CONFUSED!!! P.S. I love this man a lot though.

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  11. I date a Haitian man who I adore the hell out of but this relationship is so stressful at times, the smallest things like you said will start and argument.. The argument started, because I let him use my phone to call an uncle.. keep in mind my phone # has been the same for many years, so New Years eve my ex from years ago called and keep calling, his # is not save in my phone so I pick up the phone wanting to know why this person keeps calling me. and it is my Ex, so I hang the phone up quick, then I called back, just to let him know I have a man, and don't call anymore. So the next day after my Haitian man is done talking to his uncle, he goes trough my phone. Came up stairs and says God really loves him because he reveal the type of woman he was with and all that junk, I am not a cheater in anyway, I believe in love, trust and respect. I told him in so many words I only have eyes for him, now he's saying he don't trust me anymore, I need to go get a pregnancy test tomorrow via, text because HE WALKED OUT AND LEFT!!!! Just like you said. I just don't know......

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    1. Hey Bosslady,

      If he walked out on you that means he never loved you, he found an easy way out not even giving you the chance to defend your self. If he was in love with you he would have given you the chance to speak and clarify things. You guys could have been able to compromise but the guy you adored left you hanging. Hope you find someone who is willing to love you as for the pregnancy good luck on testing it could go anywhere from there, but just pray for the best.

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  12. This is not true! Sorry ladies but this is a sterotyical image of a Orginal Haitian man. I'm a 23 year old Haitian born male, I don't fit any of the fields you put Haitian man in. From my sisters, female co-workers & even ex-girlfriends, I treated them like a gift (Remember Women are a gift, not property.) Plus I was raised by a Queen (Mom), so I know how to treat a lady.

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    1. @ Haitian Jesus,

      I never said there's not any good Haitian men out there , this post was not meant to be a stereotype. I am talking about real things that happened to me, this has been my experience. Also my mother, sister, aunts, and girl friends experience. I am sure somewhere out there may be a Mr. Right but let the writings on the wall speak for it self. Every women that's ever posted on my wall have had an experience and not an opinion, so don't get offended if their telling the truth. Look at it as an oppurtunity of what you can do better. Kudos to you and thanks for reading my blog!

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    2. This article is not accurate, i don't know what kind of Haitian men you've encountered in the past, but i find this not to true. The Haitian u described sounds like most foreign older men fresh of the boat.

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  14. I've never been in a relationship with a Haitian man, but I do agree with you a 100%. Haitian men are very controlling and deceive, and not to mention very envious. You can never be friends with a Haitian without them hitting on you or liking you. They can never take “No” for an answer. They love to brag about how much money they have, and how they can get any other girl they wanted; which to me is so disrespectful just for mentioning that.
    I’m Haitian myself, so I do have some knowledge about the culture. You must clean, cook, and be available when sex is needed. Even though that is what must men want, but Haitian men are the worst. It’s a demand to clean, cook, and provided sex. They’re always on the defense. If you’re dating a Haitian man and you don’t have a degree, you just screwed yourself over. Get one ASAP, because they will walk over you.
    Don’t get me wrong not all Haitian men are like this. There are some decent Haitian men out there. I think Haitian American men who were born and raised in the USA have more of a decent attitude and are genuine to date.

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    1. @ Sophie Nicole....You are right they never take no for an answer lol. It would take allot of discipline for a Haitian guy to befriend a women. As far as I know most women are their type lol! But they are some decent ones out there.

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  15. Hi, I am in Canada and went online dating and lots of Haitian men wrote me then white guys to my surprise (I am a white girl) which I dont care btw of skin colour. SO after going on a few dates with them and some other island guys also (Martinique, Jamaican and Barbados) I discovered the same type of personality, I did not want to stereotype but they were VERY pushy on the first few dates to sleep with me, also I am in the military and they all though I slept with half of my platoon and being very jealous which I was so surprised!!!! They had sons from previous Haitian women and listening to them they are awful women LOL... anyway, all of this to say that even on a few dates with 4 or 5 Haitian and 3 island men I have seen some of these you mentioned....

    I have found one Haitian rigth now that is very respectful right now but is i because he was adopted and raised by a white family therefore the culture and influence was not there, I am not sure, but he seems to be a keeper so will see..I will keep reading your blog and TheBlack Bonanza blog for sure during my dating experiences :-)

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    1. @Sylvie Landry....I am happy to hear that you have a good Haitian guy but the key word is culture influence. So I would kinda consider him to be watered down which in terms is actually a good thing lol! But yes their are good Haitian men out there. But it may be a Island thing.

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    2. Here is an advise what ever they say check it out cause they lie goes so far of your expectation, even haitian military guys lie. They try to be perfect and when they get u and what they want u will see.

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    3. Hi i havw been dating a Haitian man for two months now he is a very nice guy he loves my kids but i found out that he likes to talks to women from the site we meet on i dont mind but he says he likes to help people if they asks for money and even if the girl gives him the number he tells them they could call.i have a problem with that because he says he loves me but why do that to me plz give me some pointers plz

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    4. Hi i havw been dating a Haitian man for two months now he is a very nice guy he loves my kids but i found out that he likes to talks to women from the site we meet on i dont mind but he says he likes to help people if they asks for money and even if the girl gives him the number he tells them they could call.i have a problem with that because he says he loves me but why do that to me plz give me some pointers plz

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  16. Hello, i really enjoyed your text, i'm brazilian and my boyfriend is haitian, and he is just like you said here, sometimes when i get mad at him because i found out something he didn't want me to know, he starts to ignore me, last week, we had a fight and i called him selfish and just because i did that, he was about 3 days ignoring me, i even tried to talk to him and he was just there like if i was not even there talking.. sometimes i want to go away but i do love him a lot... thats why i stay... another thing that bothers me, is that thing about flirting around... when we go out, he is always checking out the other women, i do get really hurt inside and pisses me off... but i noticed the other haitian men his friends, they do the same thing even thought some of them have gfs or they are married.. i think its a general problem with the haitian culture.. i dont know.. :(

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    1. @Marina Sanches.....I understand that you are in love with your Haitian men. But who want's to stick around with someone that ignores you for 3 days. I always believe if you have a problem it should be resolved before you go to bed, because your arguments should not carry over for so long. Communication between couples is the key to a healthy relationship regardless of the origin or nationality.If he does not snap out of his mood, sweet heart your relationship could go sour very quickly. Try speaking to him again maybe you need to caress his him, or make some food for him. Get on his good side apologize even if you don't mean it now I am going into psychological mode with you. For example: When I want to get to the bottom of something first I'll make him a nice meal and cater to him, make it a romantic night. Give him a few kisses and just say "Baby you know I love you and I mean you no harm. What could I have possibly done so bad that you don't want to speak to me? (try gently holding his hand and make eye contact with him, caress his head and ask as if your trying to be a little more submissive)"If I've done something wrong I want to apologize but if you can communicate with me and let me know what I did wrong, I can assure you that I wont do it again because I don't want us to live like this".

      If he does not open up to you at this point try not to argue. You may need to possibly leave your options open, because you won't be a happy girlfriend. I hope this could help.

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    2. Ruth, just now i saw your reply, ty so much for the advices, i've been treating him like you just said, cooking for him, caring for him more and more, being gentle as much as i can be, and it got better, he is being so cute right now with me, hugging me in front of his family and friends ( and this is too hard for him to do i know) when we go out to a walk for example, he is always holding hands with me, and calling me baby, my love.. really is going fine now our relationship, and i will do whatever i need to keep my man happy and to feel happy with him also, i love him so much. He is going to Haiti to visit his family in 2 days and i will miss him loads... but when he comes back, we will have so much to do.. since we going to have a baby very soon :) Ty for your great advices Ruth, god bless you.

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    3. Be careful !!! With all men, (no matter the color or the race) they treat women the worst when you are most vulnerable. For instance when you are pregnant.
      Also, when men go out of town, that is when they are much more likely to cheat on their wives or girlfriends.

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  17. I really enjoyed this article because I've seen it first hand from my boyfriends family. My fiance is Haitain (born in Haiti) and we have a child together. He's a good guy overall. Doesn't hit me, cheat on me, is financially supportive and wants to have a family with me. I lucked out with him. though he has come long way. His brothers and cousins in particular are everything OP described in this post. From the cheating, to the bragging about the girls they sleep with , to the lies.... They actually make fun of my boyfriend cause he doesn't cheat on me SMH. They think he's weird. Most are like the post (98%). Especially the young ones.

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  18. Oh wow i think I just read my life story...Thank you for the enlightenment. No going back to this misery.

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  19. I'm guessing this was dealing with Haitian men straight from the island. Men born in the states of Haitian descent and men in general (not all) have some of these same traits. Chill with the fellas, expect women to play a certain role, etc. And ALL MEN SIT AROUND, AND TALK ABOUT WOMEN THEY'VE BEEN WITH. Also if not worse I'm sure you've seen or heard about men having more than one woman. That's not a "Haitian man thing." You got ya main girl then you got your side pieces. The bad men do this in general. A cheater man or woman will always start arguments or get mad over little things just to get out of the house. I don't know where you found these Haitian men but you must have been looking in the wrong place. Another note in America cooking, cleaning, doing laundry etc used to be more of a woman's role. But these days young girls don't learn these things. Over time woman are almost equal to men now in America. In other cultures including Haitian, men are dominant. The woman does what the man says. Haitian men don't understand American society as a whole. They don't know about 50/50 in relationships because it isn't taught over there. A lot of outside cultures live in the past. I'm not siding with men or bashing women. I love and respect all women. I just wanted to explain why things are the way they are. Ladies explain to Haitian men how things work in America. It's 2013 now not the 50s lol. I'm Haitian born in America. My girlfriend is African American. We both fight to be in control. Can't lie she usually wins by seducing me lol. We question who we talk on the phone to. We're in a relationship so we both have a right to ask. We agreed to have no secrets. We're in love and everything is great. Just set ground rules ladies like we did. Maybe that will help.

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    1. @Will2315 I really love the way you put it, and it does make a lot of sense. I wrote this blog based on what happened in my personal life and other stories that I've heard which I could say that I am totally over with because I would never go back to that type of relationship. I do understand you, the difference in lifestyle could be a great factor. Right now I am in a relationship with a Russian guy which is totally off the map. True enough I am in love with him because he treats me well, I do believe when opposite attracts because the treatment that I've gotten from him is beyond what I've ever gotten from the Haitian men I've dated in the pass. And please keep in mind I too believe that they are good Haitian men out there but I would rather pass right now, because right now for the first time in years I've live drama free. This new feeling that I have is where I want to be. I know what good feels like so I hope somewhere in there I can help another women find her balance. @Will2315 you sound like your a good man, hope your relationship continue in the right path. God Bless!

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  21. As a Haitian man, I’m not offended by what you wrote. I understand why you wrote it. It is certainly your experience with some particular Haitian male, or a particular Haitian male. I applaud you for sharing with the world what you had gone through. Everything that you described is nether me or my friends.

    Indeed, there are Haitian men who fit that profile, and I don’t make excuses for them. You also have to ask yourself, whether you are the one attracting those kind of men. You have to set certain standard for yourself. It doesn’t matter the ethnicity of the individual when you have no standard. Then, you will always end up with the type of men that you are describing. When you are in a relationship, what are your long-term and your short-term goal? Are you the type who wants a husband or a baby’s daddy? It seems like you have dated some Haitian scumbags; wanna be thugs, and life rejects. But try to switch it a bit. Try to go after the ones with some form of education, or at least have their priority straight, not living in the ghetto or with their mom at 35 years old.

    I could make similar argument about Haitian women, Asian woman, Caucasian woman, Hispanic women, Persian women, African-American women, etc… but I know better than that, and I wouldn’t do something like that because it would be a false premise out of anger rather than facts. It is inaccurate to imply that “Haitian men.” I am okay with some Haitian men, but I am not okay with Haitian men [all] because you have not dated me, my brother, my friends, and 6.8 million Haitian men around the world to draw this conclusion as if it were facts.

    I understand that our emotions get the best of us, but please do not let your emotion scorn hard working and innocent Haitian men who had never done anything to you because some guy or a few guys broke your heart. You attract losers and losers will do these kinds of things, but don’t blame an entire ethnicity for your lack of standards.

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    1. I would agree with you. We should reserve generalizing. I am not from Haiti but I could post that same exact thing regarding men from my island also...men come in a wide variety of characters....I am sure there are awesome Haitian men who respect and love their women.I have dated a Haitian man and he was right in so many ways... but he was jealous, that would be my big negative about him, but all in all same men different tongue. there is good and bad in every culture.

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    2. @meduneter10@gmail.com

      I am replying back to the comment that you made.
      "When you are in a relationship, what are your long-term and your short-term goal?" Are you the type who wants a husband or a baby’s daddy?"

      Reply: When I was in this relationship with my "EX" first of all we got married. I definitely was not looking for a baby daddy nor have a child out of wedlock. Me being a women of course I was looking for a long term relationship, and to have a child with this one person. My idea was to have a child in a home with 2 parents but in my case it did not happen because I had a stillbirth at 7 month in 2009 which at the time he had another women in Haiti pregnant took my baby clothes to put it on her child while my baby was dead. How about adding insult to injury?

      Second comment:
      "It seems like you have dated some Haitian scumbags; wanna be thugs, and life rejects"

      Reply:
      I would like to say my standards are very high. I've never dated a thug matter of fact I find that very offensive. Let me give you an Idea of who I am. I am well educated, earned a Bachelors in Business Administration, my favorite genre of music is pop, dance, R&B, I bump to Black Eye Peas, David Guetta, Maroon 5, Mariah Carey all time fave. So where would a thug fit into that category. You think a thug can really hang with me? I don't deal with dread heads no offense, I don't deal with men that have their pant's sagging, no goal teeth. Maybe at the time I was young and he could have been one bad apple. But he was not a thug he was an Athlete played soccer in the first division Haitian National team, travelled to many Countries including Paris, Jamaica, Bahamas, Guatemala, to name a few. I am definitely not a sports fan. This guy was a friend of my sisters boyfriend who came to our house so I definitely did not go out there pursuing him. Also might I add I attended a preparatory school and turned down Pine Crest Boarding School. So as you can see your assumptions are very wrong. My preference is actually caucasian and spanish men, on point when it comes to with 'EDUCATION' who I am as an Aunt 'since I don't have live kids' I go hard on education and teach my nephews to respect their elders, I go hard on home work, I attend football training, soccer training and track trainings and games. I bring them to the zoo, horse back riding, and anything that is 'Family Oriented' I prefer educational toys over video games. So thug life so not for me and definitely not the environment that I would like to raise my kids in. So bring your assumptions elsewhere. Also my blog is not to generalize a single race but to speak out about the reality of my personal relationship, the guy that I dealt with and the country of origin is it possible for most men but not all men that come from Haiti or any other island to have the same concept when it comes to relationship?

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  23. I am a Jamaican girl. I met this Haitian guy who I really like, he claims he likes me too but keep playing games with me. For instance, we would make plans to see each other, and he never comes through....Whenever I call him, his phone goes straight to voicemail, so I get angry and stop calling him, then we would run into each other on the street. He always comes up with excuses and make up lies so I don't know what to do. I think God wants me and him to be together because for some reason we always running into each other. My heart tells me he's the man for me but if he's the player type then that's a (no,no).

    I like this guy alot, I need some advice.

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    1. they all play with ur heart.. promise u the world and let u down at the end

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  24. @Jamaica Brown...You need to open your eyes.. he spends his time avoiding you...What more do you want, God himself to come tell you that this is not his will for you?

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  25. It's so truth, to bad I realized all this after 6 years and now we have child together. He always was busy with his friends or TV, I felt neglected mostly of the time,,,my child is the best what ever happened to me however if my husband wont change I will divorce him, because I wouldn't whish another girl life that I had. Don't get me wrong, he never cursed, shouted or raised his hand, but I think once you get married, all other girls/guys have to go, I just realized guys go, girls stay. I am strong and independed, at the same I trusted him until I relized she cheated on me while I was pregnant. Only now after I checked his online accounts better I realized what kind of men he is. DON'T TRUST THEM,,,They easy to love, sweat, inocent, but they will make you cry. They not impossible to live with (all men are pigs in their own way), but you gotta be very structure and watch them 24/7. As soon as he puts you in the second place, it's time to pack your bags and ask him one last time he wants you or the rest.

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  26. Hello, I'm a Haitian male and owner of the new dating site SexyHaitians.com, which is soon to go live. Reading the comments to this blog is kind of sad, yet I must admit that there are a lot of truth to them. I do find most of my Haitian male species are extremely jealous, controlling, verbally abusive to their mate, and even physically abusive at times.

    Many women are shocked by this because they feel it's not the same man that they originally met, for he has greatly changed his ways. The fact of the matter is this, in the beginning of any new connection, a man will always give the persona he thinks a woman wants to see, regardless of his culture or race. One should wait at least 3 mths before truly investing your heart to your semi new connection. The title boyfriend or girlfriend should not be considered prior to the three months, regardless if it feels right. Why 3 Months?

    You must keep in mind that the person had a life before meeting you. There were people in his or her life prior to you. People that your new connection may still have feelings for. Your new connection may not have feeling for an ex, but it's still a dangerous zone. Yes, the feelings may be gone, but they have history together. This is powerful, because you are new to this person's life and although he or she likes you, they have more history with their past relationships. This means, it wouldn't take much to get back together or become intimate. The ex may be calling them which keeps the feelings present. You will most likely never know this is happening, because your new connection will most likely not divulge that information. This is why you must give your new connection time to get all their past baggage cleared up. By the third month, you will have gotten to know this person, you will be able to observe if they changed. You will have observed all their patterns, and your intuitions will lead you to decide at that point whether you want something more serious with this individual or not.

    If you follow this guideline, your chances of getting hurt by these Haitian men will greatly diminish. This not only works if your connection has an ex or exes that he or she is involved with. The three mths rule works well for most situations. Ladies, don't let your emotions guide you in the beginning, because emotions will take away your ability to be rational and see things for what they are. Take your time, don't rush, protect your heart, and you will know when it's right to allow yourself to be vulnerable with that individual.

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  27. I have been dating my Haitian boyfriend for almost four years and we have had our rough patches, and yes he does get jealous it's annoying at times but i think it's cute sometimes (i get a little jealous too) AND HE IS VERY COCKY. I guess it balances out because I'm very confident myself. But he is great to me and he makes sure I feel special, he never walks out, and from what I know he doesn't lie lol. But when I'm with him we cook together..I don't mind cleaning as long as he helps and takes out the trash. He gives me butterflies still after four years. But I can't say he doesn't possess some of these traits!

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  29. I will like to thank everyone from the Author to the readers who responded for keeping an eye with Haitian Men. I am Honduran American female with strong roots and always had a link with Haitian (and many cultures) people in general - but I have limited by not dating Haitian men. Until, I re-located to another US major city with a big Haitian community, I getting to know them well. I had an experience with one in particular where, He's from Haitian, been in the US for less for 15 years, (yes there is a major difference between the ones born vs raised vs immigrant) and I swear he was a gentleman till this other lady call me with crap. I immediately walked away, because I didn't rush either, but like sound-minded person "I don't want drama" Later on, He walks back in my life and saying "It's was a misunderstanding, she was nobody who try to mess me up" Even though he's walking like innocent, (forgiving as it seems) I not walking on egg shells, but a little cautious, yet my confidence is not there as it was before.... lets say Innocence is lost, but like all types of Men from various cultures, (Latin American, Caribbean or Mars!!! etc) There will have to be a limit and he will have no choice to let me stand my ground and (himself)as a Man and come correct or don't come at all. I am leaving this in the Lord's hands and there will be answers. Not rushing into relationship or crazy stuff out here in modern day dating world...So this and many other insights will be taken into account and wish the best for everyone.
    Thanks again!!!

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    1. @Mzblkcarib Thanks for reading my Blog I appreciate your comments, some people misinterpret the blog. But at the end everything starts with our fathers. I've watched my mother go through this with my father. My grandmother went through it with my grand father. It's not to generalize a single race but more of trying to better understand and she'd light. And seeing the signs of a relationship that may not be good for you. Thanks for reading again!

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  30. I have been married to my haitian husband for almost 8 years and I am haitian. What you described is exactly true and it is my husband. I hate my husband, you read right, I hate that man to the point if he dies today I won't go to his funeral. Sometimes I called massisi due to the fact his friends"male" are the important things in his life. My husband is uneducated to the point I can't even have a conversation. The only reason we are together because he was trainned how to date a woman like me. My husband has no empathy. I don't know who he is and I try to have an uncontested divorce but I figure this type of man you just walk out and never turn back. Being christian, I had to try everything I can to save my marriage but I realize there is nothing anyone can do. The only persons I feel sorry for are my two girls.

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    1. Hey Lovely,

      I'm sorry to hear about that, if you could hate him to that extent that is very unhealthy for you mentally and emotionally. Which leads me to believe that you are hurting inside everyday. If it comes to the point that you hate your husband, my question to you is why did you let it get to the point where it turned to hate? I always tell my younger sister if you feel like things are getting that bad try not to let it turn to hate. I can't quickly tell you to break off something you decided to stay in for 8 years, but it's a question of how long you can take this? I have an ex that I am very good friends with. I broke it off with him because we started arguing everyday. I simply told him I do not hate him and our arguments are getting out of hand. Before things get worst then they are and before it turns into hate or we become enemies we have to break off the relationship. I told him that even if we are not together that does not mean we can not be friends. We just know that we will no longer be intimate, there will be no jealousy if he decides to be with someone else and he has to respect that I will move on with or without him. Be strong Ms. Lovely!

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    2. I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not quite sure why some men are like this. When you take someone to be your spouse, the two become one. The man is capable of cleaning a bathroom, doing laundry or cooking. All I can say is pray for him, maybe have a meeting with your Pastor.. I'll keep you in prayer Lovely.

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    3. I understand you Lovely. On top of my husband being like yours I think he is also Passive Aggressive which makes it 1000 times worst. I have had several meltdowns because of his behavior. His friends are all that matter to him and trying to get him to be a active part of the family is like if I were asking him to amputate one of his limbs. I often feel like he doesn't see me as a human being with feelings. Like I'm just an object that he sometimes like. Like a favorite hat or something. I too have two kids. One with him, a 14 month old adorable boy, and my daughter is 10. I literally just had a conversation with him and it just made me realize that it is just time for me to move on. I'm tired of feeling hurt, lonely, abandoned and unhappy. Life is too short. Although this may hurt and be scary I know that GOD is with me. You can do it Lovely!

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  31. I had my doubts in the beginning about my boyfriend, we seperated for a bit and than we got back together, im very happy and I know he is happy with me , my Haitian man cares for me deeply, his mom even cares for me, make sure I eat, make sure I wake up on time for work, she is a very sweet lady. I just think every guy regardless what culture they are have there faults.I just know when I walked through that door he smiles and kisses me crazy, he loves to play around, he told me one day I respect you as much as I respect my mother, he also always have good advice for me.

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    1. Hello Jamia,

      What worked for you may not always work for others so I must say that it's just your luck and I am happy for you. There are a few good men out there, things did not work out at the beginning but eventually it resolved itself. He must really be afraid to lose you which mean maybe he is really in love with you. I hope with time our stories will change for the better. Good luck hun!

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  32. The man I thought was the best ended up being the ABSOLUTE WORST Haitian man EVER. I would have done almost anything for that man but he verbally and emotionally abused me and told me it was for my own good and that he was trying to teach me about life and trying to teach me a thing or two. He called me fat and stupid with no common sense. He flirted with SO MANY women in front of me and told me that I was seeing things and that I was crazy. He did not give me even a card on my birthday or Valentine's day.(that was a hint, a hint that I ignored because I loved him) He spent his money on other women and always pretended to be broke. He told me that I was jealous and obsessed with him. Boy was he wrong. He always got mad at me for the little things and would look at me like I was mental. He spent so much time with his friends and went to be with his sister almost every Sunday for dinner and he never invited me to her house and the sister seemed more like his girlfriend then I did. He only really wanted me around to make him feel good. Sex, that is all. We broke up 4 times and this is the last time because if I go back to him one of us will end up......Even though we are no longer together I see him driving by my home. Why? I really don't know. He never gave me the attention that I really needed when I was with him so why the drive buys. If I end up gone.....his initials are PPJ and he lives in Long Island and he will be the one behind it all. During our break up he told me that I was finished so he is capable of almost anything. May the good lord bless me and protect me and my family. WOMEN! If you like yourself YOU will stay away from Haitian man. PERIOD! I am so much better off without him.

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  33. Hi Ruth and your blog was right on point my ex boyfriend was everything you said in your blog and a know it all and always wanted to be right about everything.

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  34. Alot of what you said is exactly the reasons why my girlfriend doesn't prefer to date Haitian men. I'm Italian and she is Haitian, but born in the states. I saw that 1st hand the 1st time I went to dinner at my gfs house. Her mom didn't eat! She served the whole time, and while we were eating she was cleaning in the kitchen. I didn't like that, idk how to explain it but I would of much rather have her mom sitting with us. My gf said that is how alot of the Haitian men are. In my family, we all cook, clean, do laundry and so on. I'm not saying anything again Haitian men so please don't get that impression. It's just different cultures, we we're all raised differently. This Dec will be 5 yrs that we been together. We met at my church, I was in the sound booth when the door opened and oh my goodness! I was speechless. I'm shy as it is but I told myself I gotta talk to her. Long story short, it's gonna be 5 yrs in dec. She is absolutly the most beautiful girl I've ever seen (corny, I know). The Lord blessed me with her and I told Him that I would cherish and take the best care of her that I could, with His help. We're just waiting on her to finish her Master's before we get engaged.

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  37. Oh My Goodness! You have described my entire relationship with my Haitian husband! Honestly I think it was a mistake marrying him. We had issues before we got married, but what happened was there was several things that took my mind away from it.. It was like I wasn't paying attention to it as much. I got pregnant, my father got sick and eventually passed away, we moved into the house he left me which needed a lot of work which we had done. Now that everything seemed to settling down the same behaviors started to arise. Simple things like, having dinner with the family, carrying on a simple conversation without feeling like I'm being attacked. Like seriously, the aggression comes out of nowhere! His friends are number one priority, if I was on my death bed and one of his friends needed a ride somewhere, well hopefully I don't die while he's gone, because oh yeah he's leaving. It's like he isn't apart of this family. He MUST go out on Saturday nights, every Saturday night. He doesn't come in until 3am. If I asked him to compromise I'm trying to control him. I'm just done! I don't deserve this! I have been desperate once in my life and it got me in a bad place because I was willing to accept anything and anybody just so I wouldn't have to be alone. But now I'm not willing to accept just anything, I have kids that will look up to me.. I know things can be better that this...

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  38. I met my Haitian man through his brother. (We worked for the same company) we have been together 3 years today. He's wonderful. Sometimes our cultures clash but he believes in communication so even when im mad and running away from him he chases me lol untilI calm down and we talk. At first doing family things together was hard because I don't think that is really his culture, but we both give a little and now he will do some things with us. When we met my daughter was only 8 months old and his English was not so good. She is almost 4 now and he is daddy. He is proud of us and all his frieds and family know and love us. His female family members have been so helpful explaining cultural things to me when I ask..lol thank goodness. He does not like to argue. He IS a show off with the way he dresses and such but likes to dress us well too. Lol he is very good with his money helping to run the household and still sends money to his mother in port au prince. Very responsible and upstanding. He gets uncomfortable when I offer to pay for meals or buy him things. He says he was not raised this way. He is the man and it is his job to take care of us lol he is allowing me to buy and pay for things now though..lol I love him dearly. Hes not alwsys romamtic but sometimes he says the sweetest things. He insists that any Haitian man (any man for that matter) that is not respectful to his woman is a loser. There are very good Haitian men out there. It is all about how hecwas raised. His father died when he was an infant and he was raised by his mother. Being the youngest of 9 children and with a few sisters he has learned how to respect a woman. I call him out on stuff too. Im not shy about telling him he has hurt me or pissed me off. Then im in my late 30s and he 3 uears my junior. I have no patience for games. His brother...is a player lol

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  40. WOW THIS IS A GREAT BLOG, YOU POINT BLANK ALMOST A LOT OF THINGS I HAD BEEN GOING THROUGH. THANKS!
    WELL MY TWO LITTLE HAITIAN BOYS WILL GROW UP DIFFERENTLY AS THEY WOULD SEE WHAT WE WENT THROUGH BECAUSE OF A SELFISH PERSON LIKE THE DESCRIPTION ON THIS BLOG.

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  41. This should open a lot of women eyes regarding Haitian men these men live double live out of 90% they hide prior marriages from you they liar sneaky they keep secret I'm a born American and 23 yrs of the bull .... My Haitian husband never hit me because I'm a crazy American from the south he won,t even think of only but this should open

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  42. I just recently ended a relationship with a haitian man. We have a beautiful 1 year old daughter out of the relationship. Everything you said Ruth was right on the head. I found out about several relationships that he started online. When I found out he would act like I was being ridiculous. I just recently found out about one and this was the breaking point. He is a great provider when he is able to do so. He is affectionate when he's happy but if he's not, he's hell. He will ignore you and not care about your feelings or how much the situation hurts you. I have cried about it to him and he won't even hug me to console me. He won't even answer the phone for hours because he says he doesn't want to hear me cry. He is the most disrespectful guy I have ever met when it comes to a relationship. I really just wish that my daughter now was from someone else. Thanks again Ruth for the blog. It helped alot with my understandings.

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  43. Hi everyone,I have just read all of the posts and I am in tears! My life for the past 10 yrs has been,I don't know how to put it, I guess lonely and loveless. I'm 26yrs I ve been with my fiance for 10 yrs and we have 2 sons. Our oldest 7 has AS too and my youngest 3 has autism. I feel so lonely in my family, none of them understand me at all and don't try. I feel like i ve lost myself. I is much harder to deal with my Fiance then my kids of course, because I shouldn't have to parent him. I don't want to parent 3 people, I want love. He doesn't even feel love I don't think! I'm very sad thinking that I am putting my self in this position, to never put myself 1st or get anything I need or want it life. My family nor his gets it and they say that because he works and takes care of his family with money I should be happy enough. I wish there were groups where iI live but I haven't found and yet. I'm very happy to find other people out there dealing with this, because living life like this is very lonely. I would love to start talking with some of you,all things happen because great zalilu was very great to me,after he help me getting back my man every thing have be working fine.Please you can contact he for help so you can be happy in your relationship.Email him at;greatzalilu@gmail.com

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  44. Everything you said is straight on. My boyfriend is from Haiti and he lies to me all the time about everything. He is also cheating on me and refuses to get his picture taken with me.

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  45. Well Ruth u are right because i been dating a Haitian guy for about 2 years now an i am starting to see a slight change in him like most of the times i call him an he tells me that hes gonna call me back whuch he never does and like he just stop callin me as much as he used to from the time we forat met to now then im wondering in my head like ehat is he doing and he better not be seein other women beaides me i shpul be the onl lady he talks to an i wonder these things all in my head if he's lying to me but i never know i start to believe

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  46. disagree all your woman who had bad experience with haitian man, need to know not all Haitian man act the same. other man from different race can be worse than you think. i am Haitian as well and i never disrespect a woman in my life i was raise around woman all my life. i treat woman like queen. i am not cheater if i have to than i will let her know that i am not happy. no need to go through all that stress because i hate argument

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  47. This id very true my past boyfriend was this exact way nd he got mad at me cause i found he had another relationship and then he left

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  48. you are 100% . i thought i knew my haitian american boyfriend but i just realised what a pussy he is. i just realised all the lies he is been tellin me after being with him for years... i feel used and stupid. i just wish we never met cos he was my first love even at 25yrs of age. Everytin he promised was all a fucking lie...i hate myself more everytime i think of him and everything.. and yes he is jealous... am heart broken.

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  49. I have almost the same experience with my haitian boyfriend..most of what you said there is true but of course there are also exceptions(hard to find) :D

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  50. I NEVER BELIEVE ONE DAY I WILL GIVE TESTIMONIES ABOUT MY
    RELATIONSHIP. IT ALL HAPPEN THIS WAY FIVE YEARS AGO, MY HUSBAND STARTED
    CHEATING ON ME HE STOP CALLING ME, AND FIND PLEASURES IN GOING OUT WITH
    OTHER GIRLS, ANY TIME I CALL HIM THE TWO OPTIONS IS TO BOUNCE MY CALLS
    OR INSULT ME AND MY FAMILY. I WAS SO
    WORRIED BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO
    MUCH AND WE ALREADY HAVE TWO KIDS. THINGS WAS GETTING FROM BAD TO WORST,
    I WAS GETTING SICK EVERY DAY, FEEDING WAS ALSO A PROBLEM TO ME, BECAUSE
    I LOST MY APPETITE COMPLETELY, ONE DAY I MEET A FRIEND AND DISCUSS IT
    WITH HER, SHE TOLD ME TO CONTACT (DR WELLS(, THAT HER PROBLEM WAS
    WORSE THEN MINE, THAT ONLY (DR WELLS) CAN HELP ME WITH THIS SITUATION,
    AND I WAS A WOMAN WHO DOSE NOT BELIEVE IN SPELL, SO THE LAST TIME I
    CALLED MY MAN HE PICKED MY CALL, ALL I COULD HEAR FROM HIM IS TO TELL ME
    THAT HE HAS GOTTEN ANOTHER GIRL TO MARRY, AND THEY ARE IN SERIOUS
    RELATIONSHIP. I WAS SO CONFUSE AND I CALLED MY FRIEND (ALICE WHITMAN) AND TOLD
    HER WHAT I JUST HAD FROM MY MAN. SHE STILL REMIND ME OF (DR WELL) THAT
    HE IS THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN HELP ME SOLVED MY PROBLEM BY BRINGING MY
    MAN BACK TO ME. SO THERE WAS NO OPTION FOR ME I TOLD HER TO SEND ME THE
    EMAIL OF DR WELL. THAT WAS HOW I CONTACT (DR
    WELLS FOR HELP. DR WELLS ONLY TOLD ME THAT IT WILL ONLY TAKE HIM 48HOURS TO BRING MY HUSBAND BACK,TO MY GREATEST
    SURPRISE
    IN 48HOURS TIME MY HUSBAND CAME BACK TO ME AND STARTED BEGGING FOR
    FORGIVENESS, AND I ACCEPTED ALL HIS APOLOGIES BECAUSE I LOVE HIM SO
    MUCH, WE ARE NOW HAPPY FAMILY AND OUR KIDS ARE HAPPY WITH US.THANK YOU
    DR WELLS FOR YOUR GOOD WORK, I WILL CONTINUE TESTIFYING FOR YOUR GOOD
    WORK, CONTACT HIM IF YOU NEED HIS HELP IN ANYTHING BOTH RELATION AND
    OUTSIDE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS EMAIL ADDRESS. Specialspelltemple@gmail.com or
    once again thanks. Specialspelltemple@outlook.com
    1. He can help you cast a spell to get pregnant.
    2. He can help you cast a Promotion spell.
    3. He can help you cast Lottery spell.
    4. Spell of luck.
    5.he can help you cure any kind of sickness

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  51. my name is carol and I live in USA, My life is back again... After 5years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with kids .I felt like my life was about to end and I almost committed suicide, I was emotionally down for a very long time.Thanks to a spell caster called dr. ovia, which I meet online, On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet and I came across a lot of testimonies about this particular spell caster.Some people testified that he brought their Ex boyfriend back, some testified that he restores Womb,Cure Cancer and Herpes Virus and HIV Cure,diabitis hapatitis b, and other sickness, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. I also come across one particular testimony and it was about a woman called jenni, she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less than 2 days and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr. ovia email address: droviaspiritualtemple@gmail.com After reading all these,I decided to give it a try and I contacted him through his via email and explained my problem to him. In just 48 hours, my husband came back to me, and we solved our issues, we are even happier than before Dr. ovia is really a gifted man and I will not stop testifying him because he is a wonderful man and so powerful, If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve all your problems. contact him on this email:droviaspiritualtemple@gmail.com or contact him through whatsapp +2348135858735
    GOODLUCK..,

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  52. The conversation using this type of cute girl started out great. She's cheerful, laughing, Dating Tips for Men

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  53. There is a certain point you reach in life where you think that there is no hope. i was at that point when my girlfriend for 4 years just walked away from me. but thanks to the DR.AGBAZARA TEMPLE who helped me bring back my husband who left me for another girl. i did everything as instructed by Dr.Agbazara,And after 48hours my husband came back begging me on his kneels to accept him back. if you know your love is what saving contact DR.AGBAZARA TEMPLE on email: ( agbazara@gmail.com ) or call him on +2348104102662

    NATASHA
    TORONTO

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  54. WOW!! This is the most wonderful thing i have ever experience and i need to share this great testimony... I just want to say thanks to Dr: doctormoontemple778@gmail.com for taking time to help me cast the spell that brings back my ex lover{MY WIFE},who suddenly lost interest in me after six month of engagement,but today we are married with one kid and we are more happier than never before,i was truly flabbergasted and shocked when my ex lover kneel down begging for forgiveness and for me to accept her back.. I am really short of words and joyful, and i don't know how much to convey my appreciation to you Dr.Moon you are a God sent to restore broken relationship.he deeply enjoy helping people achieve their desires, find true love,getting their ex lovers back,stop abusive relationships,find success,attract happiness,find soul mates and more,contact him today. and let him show you the wonders and amazement of his Love Spell System. He deliver results at his best in real spell casting,email Doctormoontemple778@gmail.com for relationship matters

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  55. THANKS TO THE MIGHTY SPELL CASTER DR OZOMUDU WHO HELPED ME BROUGHT BACK MY HUSBAND TO BACK HOME TO MY KIDS. I AM MARGRET DAWN. I WAS MARRIED TO MY HUSBAND WILLIAM DAWN FOR SEVEN YEARS AND WE LIVED HAPPILY TOGETHER UNTIL A CERTAIN DAY HE JUST WOKE UP FROM SLEEP TO TELL ME THAT HE DOES NOT LOVE ME ANY MORE. AT FIRST I TAUGHT IT WAS A JOKE BUT WITH TIME I BECAME TO SEE THAT HE WAS SERIOUS.WE ALREADY HAVE TWO KIDS TOGETHER AND I WAS ALREADY PREGNANT FOR MY THIRD BABY. SO A DAY CAME WHEN HE JUST ARRANGED HIS BAGS AND SAID HE WAS LEAVING THE HOUSE FOR GOOD AND NOT LONGER INTERESTED IN THE RELATIONSHIP. I FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GIRL AND THEY BOTH TRAVELED OUT OF THE STATE. AS I WAS READING THROUGH THE INTERNET ABOUT DIVORCE, I READ ABOUT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER DR OZOMUDU SO I CONTACTED HIM FOR HELP. HE TOLD ME NOT TO WORRY THAT IN JUST 24 HOURS, THAT MY HUSBAND WAS GOING TO COM BACK. I NEVER BELIEVED HIM UNTIL THE FOLLOWING DAY WHEN MY HUSBAND CAME TO THE HOUSE ASKING FOR MY FORGIVENESS. NOW WE ARE HAPPY TOGETHER WITH OUR KIDS. YOU CAN CONTACT DR OZOMUDU TODAY AT dr.ozomuduspellhome@gmail.com once again contact him at dr.ozomuduspellhome@gmail.com or +2349030020480. HE IS THE BEST SPELL CASTER AND SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS AND PREDICAMENTS dr.ozomuduspellhome@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete


  56. Been back together with my bloke now for 6 months, all down to the work Dr Obodo did for me, he was a stubbon devil, and it took a while, but he came back to me, I even got roses last valentines day, totally unheard of before the spell work!! Many, many thanks Doc here doc info: {(templeofanswer@hotmail.co.uk) (cell: +2348155425481) }...

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  57. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  58. Possible to look for Haitian and American dates through MeetOutside, it all can start with online dating, just like it did for me and my fiance.

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  59. I am here to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 6 years with 3 good lovely kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had a fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn't want to loose him but everything just didn't work out… he moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when a friend introduced me to this wonderful, a great spell caster DR. OGIEMWONYI who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and cast a love spell on him. Within 2 days he called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma he had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there needs it… You can email him

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  60. I am here to share my experience with the world on how i got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 6 years with 3 good lovely kids and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had a fights and arguments almost every time… it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce… I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me cause i loved him with all my heart and didn't want to loose him but everything just didn't work out… he moved out of the house and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when a friend introduced me to this wonderful, a great spell caster DR. OGIEMWONYI who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly cause I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and cast a love spell on him. Within 2 days he called me and was sorry for all the emotional trauma he had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily, the kids are happy too and I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news… Just thought I should share my experience cause I strongly believe someone out there needs it… You can email him
    drogiemwonyisolutionhome@gmail.com
    i will always be testifying about your good work.. Danielle Perry UK

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  61. I'm a white girl and there is this guy who swears he is in Love with me and Ive only met him once he is already saying he loves me and that im his wife...im suppose to go out with him this weekend but after reading this I think I will pass dont need no drama

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  62. I'm a white girl and there is this guy who swears he is in Love with me and Ive only met him once he is already saying he loves me and that im his wife...im suppose to go out with him this weekend but after reading this I think I will pass dont need no drama

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  63. I would like to advice any one out there who is experiencing love trauma , Financial difficulty, Child bearing , Miscarriages and so many more , You could contact Dr. Madu to on his email: ( maduutemple @ gmail . com )or his Whatsapp : +234 8107 547 068 for his nice spell work.

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  64. After being in relationship with lover for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Bhabumenre and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drbhabumenrespellhome1@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. his email: drbhabumenrespellhome1@gmail.com

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  65. What more can i say or do to thanks Doctor Ororo for bringing my wife back to me. I have never seen a sincere and powerful spell caster like him who says something and it happen exactly as it was said. Do you know that Doctor Ororo promise me that my wife will come back to me begging and rolling on her knees within 12 to 16 hours and it happened exactly as he said. I was always drinking and cheating on my wife and this curse a very big problem between my wife and i which made her left the house and refuse to answer her phone each time i call and i explained the situation to my friend and he told me how Doctor Ororo has helped him in the past so i immediately contacted Doctor Ororo and here i am today filled with joy because my wife is back and i will continue to speak of Doctor Ororo because he is a God on Earth.My name is charles and my contact number is +1-260-272-0826.Do you need help? contact him now via email: doctorororospelltemple@outlook.com or website: http://doctorazuaworldofpowerfulspell.webs.com or via Whats App or call: +2348068784784

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  66. After being in relationship with lover for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Bhabumenre and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: drbhabumenrespellhome1@gmail.com you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU SIR CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS. his email: drbhabumenrespellhome1@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  67. i just gut out of a relationship with a hatian man, and if i had read this before i would have never dated him, everything u wrote ive experienced it, in just 6 months.. never again... im jamaican btw.

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  68. I would like to advice any one out there who is experiencing love trauma , Financial difficulty, Child bearing , Miscarriages and so many more. All thanks to Dr. Madu for the good works he has been doing for my family and Friends, For I will always be grateful to Him for the his good works. He helped me with a spell that brought back my broken relationship and also i was able to have a baby after so many miscarriages. You could contact Dr. Madu to on his email: ( maduutemple @ gmail . com )or his Whatsapp : +234 8107 547 068 for his nice spell work.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Hello Everybody,
    My name is Mrs Sharon Sim. I live in Singapore and i am a happy woman today? and i told my self that any lender that rescue my family from our poor situation, i will refer any person that is looking for loan to him, he gave me happiness to me and my family, i was in need of a loan of S$250,000.00 to start my life all over as i am a single mother with 3 kids I met this honest and GOD fearing man loan lender that help me with a loan of S$250,000.00 SG. Dollar, he is a GOD fearing man, if you are in need of loan and you will pay back the loan please contact him tell him that is Mrs Sharon, that refer you to him. contact Dr Purva Pius,via email:(urgentloan22@gmail.com) Thank you.

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    ReplyDelete
  70. wowww that's bs. How come you bash a whole ethnicity for your own mistake? you can't generalize it. I'm an Haitian, my girlfriend is African-American and we've been in relationship for almost two years. My girl is happy and madly in love with me. I never raise my voice on her, never disrespect her, never lie to her. She knows my words are bond. Btw she can't cook, that doesn't bother at all and I don't expect her too. She is a wonderful woman. I believe in double standard. I have female friends and she has male friends.we trust each other. I'm not clingy to her since you describe all Haitian men are jealous and controlling. For you to bash Haitian men like that, I think that's very wrong and unfair. Your poor decision making was the result of your awful relationship. As a young Haitian man, you insult me with this.

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  71. Hello to the world i am very happy today that things are moving on fine with me and my family i am Mrs Sonia Tuck and i am from the carribean i was having problems with my husband who i have been with for over 10 years now the problem started when i wasn't able to have babies we went to so many hospitals and nothing was wrong with us then the mother started troubling me and saying i must leave her son alone i was sad and felt very alone and my husband was drifting away from me and he started having affair with other women i was very downcasted and i sought for help until help came my way in the form of Dr Arewa of uduehitempleofsolution@gmail.com he told me he will make my husband love me again and make me have babies i believed him because he was the only hope i had and true to his words i gave birth to twins my husband loved me again and things started to work for the better for me i am so happy that i chose the help of this powerful spell caster you can contact him for all your problems for he is ready to solve them for you okay here is his mail one more time uduehitempleofsolution@gmail.com your daughter from the USA Sonia Tuck

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